{"id":1441,"date":"2014-03-06T11:26:08","date_gmt":"2014-03-06T11:26:08","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.indianaadoption.com\/?p=1441"},"modified":"2014-03-06T11:26:08","modified_gmt":"2014-03-06T11:26:08","slug":"post-adoption-agreement-send-adoption-updates-part-two","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/indianaadoption.com\/post-adoption-agreement-send-adoption-updates-part-two\/","title":{"rendered":"Post Adoption Agreement: Send Your Adoption Updates! Part Two"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Birth parents enjoy seeing the child doing different activities, spending time with family members, and the child’s reactions to different things, even including photos of the child crying or having a temper tantrum, all of which are part of the child’s life.<\/p>\n
A common concern of adoptive parents is that if the birth mother sees an adorable and happy child, she will believe that she has made a mistake and want the child back. Firstly, birth mothers don’t make adoption plans because they “want the child back”. They make adoption plans because they love their children and want more for them than they can provide themselves. Seeing a happy child, in nice surroundings only reaffirms that they made the right decision. Secondly,\u00a0NOT<\/strong> providing the updates creates fear and concern that the child is not okay. If a mother’s plan was to see that her child is loved, happy, and safe and secure, and she sees pictures confirming that, doesn’t it make sense that she would be more at peace with her decision than if she did not receive the reaffirmation?<\/p>\n I have spoken with many birth parents about the updates they receive. I cannot put into words what these updates mean to them, especially in the first few months after birth. Many birth parents call us to let us know what the updates mean to them. Check out this post on our Google+ page relating to one birth parent’s sentiment regarding updates. During this time, birth parents go through a grieving process, and they work to try to sort out their emotions. These updates can help them in the healing process and work on moving forward. The birth parents hope and pray that they have entrusted their child in a home where they will be loved and provided for, and that the adoptive parents will honor the agreement made in their adoption plan. Adoptive parents and birth parents will talk about post adoption updates and come to an agreement of what their plan will be. It is very important that adoptive parents talk openly with the birth parents and that they only agree to what they are comfortable with. UnderIndiana Code 31-19-16, post adoption agreements are only enforceable for older (2+ years) children which are adopted; therefore, birth parents take the adoptive parent’s agreement for updates as a promise. It is critical that the adoptive parents then live up to the agreement they made.<\/p>\n