How to Choose the Right Adoptive Family When You Place Your Baby for Adoption in Indiana

By: Grant Kirsh

Here is something that helps a lot of expectant mothers feel good about adoption: you get to choose the family that raises your child, if you want.

This is not something people always know going in. Many women assume that a baby gets matched to a family by some agency or court — that the birth mother has little say. But in private adoption in Indiana, you have real power in this decision. And at Kirsh & Kirsh, P.C., we make sure you know how to use it.

We are a family-run Indiana adoption firm with over 40 years of experience. We have helped birth mothers across Indiana — from Indianapolis and Carmel to Fort Wayne, Evansville, South Bend, Bloomington, and beyond — find the right family for their child. Here is how the process works.

How Does Choosing a Family Work?

When you decide to explore adoption, hopeful adoptive families share profiles with you. These profiles include letters the families have written about themselves and photos of their homes and daily lives. Most adoptive families put a lot of care into these profiles because they understand how much is at stake.

You look through profiles at your own pace. There is no deadline and no pressure to decide quickly. You can review as many families as you want.

If a family catches your attention, you can ask questions or request a phone or video call to get to know them better. Think of it as an interview — because in a very real sense, that is exactly what it is.

What Should You Look For?

There is no single right answer. The best family for your baby is the one that feels right to you. But here are some things many birth mothers think about as they look through profiles:

Values. Do their beliefs and the way they live their life feel like the right fit for your child?

Stability. Do they seem like grounded, steady people? Is their home and life situation secure?

Family. Do they have other children? Extended family who will love your baby?

Openness. How do they feel about staying in touch with you? Do they seem like people who will honor an open adoption relationship if that is what you want?

Your gut. Sometimes you just know. Trust that feeling. It matters.

Can I Ask Them Questions?

Absolutely. You are allowed to ask anything. Many birth mothers want to know:

• Where do you live?
• What does a typical day in your home look like?
• How do you feel about open adoption?
• What will you tell my child about me?

The family that is right for your baby will welcome your questions. They want you to feel good about this too.

What If I Do Not See a Family I Connect With?

That happens, and it is completely okay. We can help you find more profiles or talk through what you are looking for so the search can be narrowed. The goal is not to rush you into a match. The goal is to find the right family. We typically have over 100 families looking to adopt.

Can I Change My Mind About a Family?

Yes. You are not committed to a family just because you have looked at their profile, talked to them on the phone, or even told them you are interested. Until you sign the legal consent — which cannot happen until after your baby is born — you can change your mind about the family, or about adoption altogether.

Why Work With Kirsh & Kirsh, P.C.?

Some national adoption agencies try to look local by setting up a shared office address in Indiana. But they are really run from somewhere else, and they do not have the relationships, experience, or deep roots in this state that we do.

Kirsh & Kirsh, P.C. has been part of Indiana communities since 1981. We are a family firm. We know Indiana — its courts, its communities, its families — in a way that a national company simply cannot replicate.

When you work with us, you are working with people who are genuinely here for you.

Call or text us at 800-333-5736.
Visit us at IndianaAdoption.com. Everything is free and confidential.

About the Author
Grant Kirsh is a second-generation adoption attorney and owner of Kirsh & Kirsh, P.C., a family law firm in Indianapolis, Indiana that has been serving Indiana families since 1981. Grant graduated from Indiana University McKinney School of Law in 2013 and has personally handled nearly 3,000 foster care adoptions and his law firm has handled over 5,000 private newborn adoptions. He practices all forms of domestic adoption, with a deep personal commitment to expectant mothers considering adoption in Indiana and Indiana’s foster care system and the families and children it serves.