6 Myths About Giving Up a Baby for Adoption – Debunked by an Indiana Adoption Attorney

By: Grant Kirsh

If you have been searching online for information about giving up a baby for adoption or putting a baby up for adoption in Indiana, you have probably found a lot of information — and not all of it is accurate. Some of it is outdated. Some of it applies to other states. And some of it is just wrong.

At Kirsh & Kirsh, P.C., we have been working in Indiana adoption for over 40 years. We are a family firm right here in Indiana — not a national agency, not a company leasing an office to look local. We have heard just about every fear, every rumor, and every misconception about adoption that exists. So let us clear some of them up.

Myth #1: Giving Up Your Baby for Adoption Means You Do Not Love Them

This is the most painful myth — and the least true.

Choosing to place your baby for adoption is an act of love. It is a decision made because you want your child to have a safe, stable, loving life — even when your own circumstances make that hard right now. Birth mothers are not indifferent to their children. They agonize over this decision precisely because they love their babies.

Placing your baby for adoption does not mean you gave up. It means you put your child first.

Myth #2: You Will Never See or Hear About Your Child Again

This was true in a different era of adoption. It is largely not true today.

Most adoptions in Indiana today are open or semi-open, meaning there is some form of ongoing contact between the birth mother and the adoptive family. That might mean photos and updates, letters, video calls, or even in-person visits. The level of contact is something you and the adoptive family agree to together — and you have a real say in what it looks like.

Myth #3: Once You Contact an Adoption Attorney, You Are Committed

Making a phone call or sending a message to Kirsh & Kirsh, P.C. does not obligate you to anything. You can gather information, ask questions, and think things over — for as long as you need — without any pressure or commitment. It is also 100% free to you. You will never have to pay anything for our services.

Under Indiana law, you cannot legally consent to an adoption until after your baby is born. Nothing is final until that moment — not a phone call, not a meeting, not even choosing a family.

Myth #4: National Adoption Agencies Are Just as Good as a Local Indiana Firm

This is a myth we feel strongly about.

Some national adoption companies lease shared office space in Indiana to make it look like they are based here. But their staff, their knowledge, and their relationships are somewhere else. They do not know Indiana courts. They do not know Indiana hospitals, social workers, judges, and other local resources. They do not have 40 years of relationships built across this state.

Kirsh & Kirsh, P.C. is genuinely local. We live and work in Indiana. Our family has been part of this community since 1981. That difference matters — especially when things get complicated or when you need someone who is truly in your corner.

Myth #5: You Will Not Have Your Own Attorney

In Indiana, birth mothers are not legally entitled to independent legal representation in the adoption process — but at Kirsh & Kirsh, P.C., we were the first adoption professionals in Indiana to make it standard practice. If you want your own attorney, we require the adoptive family to pay for it. It is optional for you; it is not optional for them. Your attorney’s job is to make sure you understand everything you sign, that no one is pressuring you, and that your rights are fully protected.

Myth #6: You Will Regret It Forever

The emotional reality of adoption is more complex than this. Grief is real, and we will not pretend otherwise. But regret is not inevitable — not by a long shot.

Birth mothers who feel the most peace over time tend to share a few things in common: they were fully informed, they did not feel rushed or pressured, they chose a family they trusted, and they had real support — before, during, and after placement. Open adoption, where birth mothers can see their child growing up loved and safe, tends to make a meaningful difference over time.

We have walked with many birth mothers from cities and towns all across Indiana — Indianapolis, Bloomington, Terre Haute, South Bend, Muncie, Anderson, Kokomo, Richmond, and more. Their experiences are not all the same. But the ones who felt supported rarely describe regret.

You Deserve Honest Information

If you have a question you are afraid to ask, or something you have heard that worries you, we are here to talk about it honestly. No sales pitch. No pressure. Just real information from people who have been doing this for a long time.

Call or text us at 800-333-5736.
Visit us at IndianaAdoption.com. Everything is free and confidential.

About the Author
Grant Kirsh is a second-generation adoption attorney and owner of Kirsh & Kirsh, P.C., a family law firm in Indianapolis, Indiana that has been serving Indiana families since 1981. Grant graduated from Indiana University McKinney School of Law in 2013 and has personally handled nearly 3,000 foster care adoptions and his law firm has handled over 5,000 private newborn adoptions. He practices all forms of domestic adoption, with a deep personal commitment to expectant mothers considering adoption in Indiana and Indiana’s foster care system and the families and children it serves.