How to Choose the Right Adoptive Family When You Put Your Baby Up for Adoption in Indiana

By: Grant Kirsh

Here is something that surprises many expectant mothers when they first start looking into how to give up a baby for adoption in Indiana: in most cases, you get to choose the family.

This is not how many people imagine adoption works. Many women assume a baby gets matched to a family by an agency or a court, with the birth mother having little say. But in private adoption in Indiana, you have real power in this decision — and at Kirsh & Kirsh, P.C., we make sure you know how to use it.

We are a family-run Indiana adoption law firm with nearly 50 years of experience helping create families. We typically have over 100 families waiting to adopt, which means you will have real choices, not just one or two profiles handed to you. Here is how the selection process works.

How Does Choosing a Family Work?

When you decide to explore putting your baby up for adoption, hopeful adoptive families share profiles with you. These profiles include letters the families have written about themselves and photos of their homes and daily lives. Most families put tremendous care into these profiles because they understand how much is at stake.

You look through profiles at your own pace. There is no deadline and no pressure. You can review as many families as you want from Indianapolis, Carmel, Fishers, Fort Wayne, Bloomington, or communities across Indiana and also around the country.

If a family interests you, you can ask questions or set up a phone or video call to get to know them better.

What Should You Look For?

There is no single right answer. The best family for your baby is the one that feels right to you. Here are things many birth mothers think about:

Values and lifestyle. Do their beliefs and the way they live their life seem like the right fit for your child?

Stability. Do they seem grounded and secure? Is their home life stable?

Openness. How do they feel about staying in touch with you? At Kirsh & Kirsh, P.C., all of our adoptive families commit to providing letters and photos for at least 18 years. If you want more contact than that, we help you find a family whose expectations match yours.

Family. Do they have other children? Extended family who will be part of your baby’s life?

Your gut. Sometimes you just know. Trust that feeling.

Questions You Can Ask

You are allowed to ask anything. Many birth mothers want to know where the family lives, what their daily life looks like, how they plan to tell the child about their adoption story, and how they feel about ongoing contact. A family that is right for your baby will welcome every question.

What If You Do Not Connect With Any Family?

That is okay. We can help you find more profiles or talk through what you are looking for. With over 100 families waiting, we have real flexibility to find the right match, whether you are in South Bend, Evansville, Hammond, Gary, Muncie, Lafayette, Terre Haute, Kokomo, Anderson, or Greenwood.

Can You Change Your Mind About a Family?

Yes. You are not committed to a family just because you reviewed their profile, spoke with them, or told them you were interested. Until you sign the legal consent to adoption, which cannot happen until after your baby is born, you can change your mind about the family or about adoption altogether.

Call or text us at 800-333-5736. Visit us at IndianaAdoption.com. Our services are 100% free to you.

About the Author
Grant Kirsh is a second-generation adoption attorney and owner of Kirsh & Kirsh, P.C., a family law firm in Indianapolis, Indiana that has been serving Indiana families since 1981. Grant graduated from Indiana University McKinney School of Law in 2013 and has personally handled nearly 3,000 foster care adoptions and his law firm has handled over 5,000 private newborn adoptions. He practices all forms of domestic adoption, with a deep personal commitment to expectant mothers considering adoption in Indiana and Indiana’s foster care system and the families and children it serves.