Choosing the Right Adoptive Family for Your Baby in Indiana

By: Grant Kirsh

One of the first questions expectant mothers ask when they think about how to give up a baby for adoption is a worried one: will anyone even want my baby? And right behind it comes another: if I do this, do I get any say in who raises my child?

Here is the truth, and it is good news on both counts. There are far more families hoping to adopt than there are babies who need homes. And in a private adoption in Indiana, you are the one who chooses the family.

At Kirsh & Kirsh, P.C., we have been helping Indiana birth mothers make this choice for nearly 50 years. We are a family-run law firm based right here in Indiana, not a national adoption agency with no real local presence. We typically have over 100 carefully screened families waiting to adopt, which means you will have real choices, not just one or two profiles handed to you.

Will Anyone Want My Baby?

Yes. We want to put this fear to rest right away. No matter your situation, your background, your race, your health, or the circumstances of your pregnancy, there are loving families who would be overjoyed to welcome your baby. We have families waiting who are open to all kinds of situations. Your baby is wanted. Deeply.

This is true whether you are in Indianapolis, Fort Wayne, Evansville, South Bend, Carmel, Fishers, Bloomington, Hammond, Gary, Muncie, Lafayette, Terre Haute, Kokomo, Anderson, or Greenwood.

You Choose the Family

Many women are surprised to learn that they get to pick the adoptive parents. You are not assigned a family. You are not handed a baby to a stranger chosen by someone else. You review profiles of hopeful adoptive families, and you decide.

These profiles include letters the families have written about themselves and photos of their homes and daily lives. You review them at your own pace. You can ask questions. You can set up a phone call or a video call to get to know a family before you decide anything. You can even meet them in person before you decide on a family.

One thing to keep in mind: family profiles are shown to many expectant mothers. If you take a long time, there is a chance another woman may choose a family before you do. So while there is no need to rush, it helps to stay engaged in the process.

How Will I Know the Family Will Love My Baby?

This is the heart of it, and it is a question that deserves real care. Here is what we tell birth mothers to look for:

Look at how a family writes about themselves. Do they seem warm and genuine? Look at their photos. Do they seem happy and at ease? Think about their values, their home, their other children if they have any, and the kind of life your child would grow up in.

And trust your instincts. Sometimes everything looks right on paper but something feels off. Trust that. And sometimes a family just feels right in a way that is hard to explain. Trust that too. You are choosing the people who will raise your child. Your gut matters. All of the families we represent are very carefully screened. You really can’t make a bad decision. You just need to make a decision that feels right to you.

How Can I Be Sure I Will Not Make a Mistake?

You will not be doing this alone. At Kirsh & Kirsh, P.C., we walk through this with you. We answer your questions, we help you think it through, and we never pressure you toward any particular family. With over 100 families waiting, we have the flexibility to keep looking until you find the one that feels right.

And remember, all of our adoptive families commit to providing letters and photos for at least 18 years. So you will get to see your child grow up, healthy and loved. If you want more contact than that, such as visits or video calls, we will help you find a family whose wishes match yours.

What If I Do Not Know Anyone Who Wants to Adopt?

You do not need to. That is what we are here for. You do not have to find a family on your own. We have spent nearly 50 years building relationships with wonderful, carefully screened families across the country who are ready to adopt. Adoptive families can come from anywhere in the country, not just Indiana.

You Are in Control

Until you sign the consent to adoption, which cannot happen until after your baby is born, you can change your mind about a family or about adoption altogether. There is no pressure and no obligation.

Our services are 100% free to you. You will never pay us anything. Reaching out costs you nothing.

Call or text us at 800-333-5736. Visit us at IndianaAdoption.com. Everything is free and confidential.

About the Author
Grant Kirsh is a second-generation adoption attorney and owner of Kirsh & Kirsh, P.C., a family law firm in Indianapolis, Indiana that has been serving Indiana families since 1981. Grant graduated from Indiana University McKinney School of Law in 2013 and has personally handled nearly 3,000 foster care adoptions and his law firm has handled over 5,000 private newborn adoptions. He practices all forms of domestic adoption, with a deep personal commitment to expectant mothers considering adoption in Indiana and Indiana’s foster care system and the families and children it serves.