I Already Have Children and Cannot Raise Another. Is Adoption an Option?

By: Grant Kirsh

Adoption is not just for teenagers or first-time mothers. In fact, many of the birth mothers we work with already have children at home. Most are in their 20s and are either pregnant with their first or have other children already. They love their kids deeply, and that love is exactly why they are considering adoption for a new baby they know they cannot provide for right now.

If this is your situation, you are not alone, and you are not doing anything wrong by considering adoption. At Kirsh & Kirsh, P.C., we have helped many mothers in exactly your position over nearly 50 years. We are a family-run Indiana law firm, and we understand.

You Know What Parenting Takes

Unlike a first-time mother, you already know exactly what it takes to raise a child: the time, the money, the energy, the emotional bandwidth. So when you look at your situation and realize you cannot stretch any further, that is not a guess. That is the honest assessment of someone who already knows. Respecting that knowledge is wise, not selfish.

Choosing Adoption Is an Act of Love for All Your Children

Some mothers worry that placing a new baby for adoption is unfair to that child compared to the children they are raising. Here is another way to see it. By choosing adoption, you are making sure this baby has a stable, loving home, while also protecting your ability to care for the children you already have. You are looking out for everyone. That is what good mothers do. They make hard choices for the good of their family.

Will My Other Children Be Confused or Hurt?

This is a thoughtful concern, and how you talk to your children about it matters. Age-appropriate honesty is usually best. Children can understand, in simple terms, that the new baby is going to a family who can take care of them, and that this was a loving choice. Many families navigate this beautifully. Counseling, which is covered 100% by the adoptive family, can help you think through how to handle these conversations.

In an open adoption, your children may even be able to stay connected to their sibling through photos and updates, which can help everyone.

Can Kirsh & Kirsh Help Me?

Yes. Whether you are a single mother with three kids at home, a married mother whose family is already stretched, or any other situation, we can help. We have over 100 families waiting to adopt, our services are 100% free to you, and financial help is available during your pregnancy under Indiana law.

You choose the family. You decide the level of contact. All our families commit to letters and photos for at least 18 years. And you almost certainly will never have to step foot in a courtroom.

You Are Making a Responsible Choice

There is no shame in knowing your limits. Caring for the children you have while making a loving plan for a new baby you cannot raise is one of the most responsible things a mother can do.

Whether you are in Indianapolis, Fort Wayne, Evansville, South Bend, Carmel, Fishers, Bloomington, Hammond, Gary, Muncie, Lafayette, Terre Haute, Kokomo, Anderson, or Greenwood, we are here to help.

Call or text us at 800-333-5736. Visit us at IndianaAdoption.com. Everything is free and confidential.

About the Author
Grant Kirsh is a second-generation adoption attorney and owner of Kirsh & Kirsh, P.C., a family law firm in Indianapolis, Indiana that has been serving Indiana families since 1981. Grant graduated from Indiana University McKinney School of Law in 2013 and has personally handled nearly 3,000 foster care adoptions and his law firm has handled over 5,000 private newborn adoptions. He practices all forms of domestic adoption, with a deep personal commitment to expectant mothers considering adoption in Indiana and Indiana’s foster care system and the families and children it serves.