Recently, I met with an expectant mother who had previously made an adoption plan and placed a child with a family through our office. She said that she was hesitant to call us this time because she felt like “scum” (her words) for winding up unexpectedly pregnant again. I assured her that her situation happens more than she thought.
Over the 30 years we have been handling adoptions, we have had a number of women who have come to us with more than one pregnancy, asking for our assistance in finding an adoptive home for their children. I told this expectant mother that even though she did not intend to get pregnant, her pregnancy is certainly not a “mistake”, and that if she proceeds with an adoption plan for her baby, her child will receive a loving, forever family, who wants desperately to have a child.
Very few women with whom I have met over the years got pregnant on purpose; however, all of the children that were born as a result of those pregnancies and then adopted have been an absolute blessing to the families who received them. I know this because every year, I receive hundreds of cards and letters from these families telling me how very much these children are loved and adored.
Birth mothers have always been, and will continue to be, heroes in our eyes. They actively choose to place the needs of their children over their own, and at the same time make the dreams of families who are longing to be parents come true. It makes no difference whether it is a woman’s first or fifth pregnancy– the utterly selfless act of placing a child for adoption remains the same.