My Teenaged Daughter Is Pregnant. She Is Not Ready To Be A Mother. What Should I Do?
As the father of three sons and having been married for over 46 years, I often recall what my father used to tell me about being a parent: “Steve don’t worry; it is just the first twenty years that are the hardest.” I remember him telling me that when my boys were toddlers and going through the terrible twos. As a parent of children who are now between the ages of thirty-eight and forty-three, I realized that although my dad was trying to be funny, the first twenty years are really not the hardest. As children get older, their problems grow, exponentially, in size. When my kids were newborns, the biggest challenge was getting up in the middle of the night to change a dirty diaper, feed a hungry baby, or comfort a crying child. “Monster Repellant Spray” (a.k.a. Lysol) worked wonders keeping the night monsters at bay when the boys were little, and it was bedtime. As they got older, their problems became bigger, as well. Even as a father of a forty-three old son, I still find myself giving lots of advice, often unsolicited.
So what does this have to do with parenting a pregnant, teenage daughter? Parenting does not mean that you have to submit to your child’s wishes. Parenting means that you assume responsibility and guide your children to the decision that is best for them.
Therefore, my advice to a parent of a teenage daughter, who is pregnant, is don’t stop being a parent because they happen to be pregnant. With teenagers, you often have to convince them that it was their idea to take action, and, sometimes, a subtle approach is better than a more direct one. But if your first attempt at convincing them does not work, you must continue to try.
A pregnant teen faces the most difficult decision of her life and cannot possibly comprehend the commitment it takes to parent a child. And even though they may think they know everything as a teenager, they don’t. That is where parenting comes in.
There is a balance because Indiana law does not allow a person to give a coerced consent to adoption. And, in fact, a consent to adoption that is coerced would not be valid. However, as a parent, you have the responsibility to guide and protect your child even if your child does not agree. Parenting is not about consensus building or winning popularity contests. Parenting is about raising your child to help them achieve their full potential.
The “Kirsh Boys,” as the adoption attorneys at Kirsh & Kirsh, are sometimes called – Steve, and his brothers, Joel and Rob, and his son, Grant – pride themselves on answering questions about adoption and explaining the process without pressure or judgment. They cannot make adoption an easy choice, but they can make it less scary by removing some of the unknowns. Ultimately, a birth parent will have to decide if adoption is in their own best interests and the best interests of their child. We, at Kirsh & Kirsh, will not and cannot make that decision for anyone, but we can provide information and answers to questions.
Our contact information is below. We will answer your questions and provide you the information you seek, without cost or obligation on your part. In other words, talking to us is FREE and does NOT mean you ever have to talk or text with us, again. The Kirsh Boys have 90 YEARS OF COMBINED EXPERIENCE practicing adoption law. We can help you find an AMAZING, WONDERFUL, adoptive home for your precious baby, whether you live in Westfield or Indianapolis, Columbus or Martinsville, Evansville or Huntingburg, or Culver or Ft. Wayne, Richmond or Lafayette, or any Indiana county or city in between, or ANYWHERE in Tennessee, Mississippi, or Kentucky.
We have lots of wonderful, carefully screened, loving families, FROM INDIANA AND ALL OVER THE COUNTRY (married, single, Lesbian, and Gay) who cannot wait to welcome a baby into their hearts and homes and are happy to assist with living expenses to the full extent allowed by law.
You can call, text, and or email us anytime -call: 317-575-5555, text: 317-721-2030, email: AdoptionSupport@kirsh.com, or Facebook message: https://www.facebook.com/KirshandKirsh/. We answer our office phone 24 hours a day, every single day. We try to respond to emails and text messages within minutes of receipt.
POSITIVE ADOPTION LANGUAGE DISCLAIMER: Please understand that these blog posts are written in a way to use language that people use when searching for help with their adoption plans. Unfortunately, while all of us understand what positive adoption language means, most expectant moms that come to us at first do not understand what that means. The most common search term on the Internet for expectant moms is “how do I give up my baby for adoption”. If we do not include those words in our blog posts, and instead put “how do I create an adoption plan for my baby” then our website will not show up in most expectant mom’s search results in Google.