Adoptive Couple Loses $40,000 On a Failed Out-Of-State Adoption – A Cautionary Tale

Adoptive Couple Loses $40,000 On a Failed Out-Of-State Adoption – A Cautionary Tale

Just the other day, I, Steve Kirsh, an adoption lawyer with the Adoption Law Firm Kirsh & Kirsh, P.C. (“Kirsh & Kirsh”) had a Zoom Meeting with prospective adoptive parents, who told me that they had been working with a national adoption agency, which matched them with an expectant mother.  Between the upfront agency fees and living expenses for the birth mother, they lost $40,000 on the failed adoption. Unlike Indiana which caps living expenses at $4,000, except in extraordinary circumstances, the state in which the adoption agency was located does not impose a dollar amount limit on living expenses. Not only were the prospective adoptive parents upset about the financial loss, they criticized the lack of responsiveness of the adoption agency. In fact, they did not learn that the birth mother was not proceeding with the adoption, until the birth mother contacted them, asking for more living expenses AFTER she delivered and Child Protective Services (“CPS”) had already taken custody of the newborn. Not knowing that CPS had intervened and blocked the adoption, they asked their baby adoption agency to advance her more living expenses. The caseworker at the agency then informed them that CPS had stepped in the previous weekend and that they would not be able to adopt the baby. To learn of the failed adoption in that way upset the prospective adoptive parents but did not surprise them. They stated that the agency often did not respond to emails or calls quickly.

Under Indiana adoption law, a birth mother cannot legally commit to adoption until after she gives birth. Therefore, every prospective adoptive parent risks disappointment and financial loss. What we, at Kirsh & Kirsh, find hard to justify is the amount of money the family lost and the lack of communication. We pride ourselves on promptly responding to all inquiries about newborn adoptions and limiting the financial risk of failed adoption opportunities. In fact, we structure our legal and adoption services fees to roll-over to subsequent adoption opportunities. Furthermore, we defer the largest amount of those fees until placement so that significant financial losses do not compound the emotional disappointment of not successfully adopting. By the way, we do not criticize the birth mother for not proceeding with putting her baby up for adoption, or more correctly, making an adoption plan for her baby, and recognize that a birth mother has the absolute right not to give up her baby for adoption.

We find it unfortunate that the national adoption agency allowed the prospective adoptive parents to suffer such a great financial loss and did not communicate better with them about the failed adoption opportunity.

If you are prospective adoptive parents looking for information about adopting a child,  or are a birth mother or expectant mother and not sure how to give a child up for adoption, or, more correctly, make an adoption plan for your child, please contact us. We will answer your questions, without cost or obligation on your part. In other words, talking to us costs you nothing nor does it mean you ever have to communicate with us, again. We can assist you with an Indiana adoption no matter whether you live in Ft. Wayne or Evansville, Clarksville or Gary, South Bend or Jasper, or any Indiana county or city in between.

We have lots of wonderful, carefully screened, loving families (married, single, Lesbian, and Gay) from all over the country who cannot wait to welcome a baby into their hearts and homes and are happy to assist with living expenses to the full extent allowed by law.

You can call, text, and or email us anytime —call: 317-575-5555, text: 317-721-2030, email:, or a Facebook message: We answer our office phone 24 hours a day, every single day. We try to respond to emails and text messages within minutes of receipt.

POSITIVE ADOPTION LANGUAGE DISCLAIMER:  Please understand that these blog posts are written in a way to use language that people use when searching for help with their adoption plans.  Unfortunately, while all of us understand what positive adoption language means, most expectant moms that come to us at first do not understand what that means. The most common search term on the Internet for expectant moms is “how do I give up my baby for adoption”.  If we do not include those words in our blog posts, and instead put “how do I create an adoption plan for my baby” then our website will not show up in most expectant mom’s search results on Google.

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