I Did Not Plan To Get Pregnant – Now What Do I Do?
Ask most people, and they will tell you that you have 2 options – parent or abort the baby, BUT consider another alternative – give the baby up for adoption or more correctly “make an adoption plan for the baby.” Firstly, unless you have already given birth, you don’t have to make a final decision now. Whatever you decide will have lasting consequences for you and the baby. Take a deep breath and consider your options.
Most pregnant women will parent their babies. In fact, not making a decision leaves you with that outcome. But, you have to ask yourself the fundamental question which guides all good parenting choices: “What is in my child’s best interests”? If you believe you have the resources and desire to devote the rest of your life parenting your child, you should choose this option. “The rest of my life”? No, wait – I thought I would finish raising my child when he or she turned 18 years. Wrong – parenting is a lifetime commitment, which gets harder as children get older. As children get older, a parent’s influence over their decisions diminishes, making parenting more difficult. As a parent you will always have the desire to give your children the benefit of your knowledge and experience. Of course, you need to provide the necessities – food, shelter, care, education, and, of course, LOVE. However, Love alone will not cut it.
When honestly considering your current situation, you may conclude you cannot provide your child the life, future, and opportunities you want for your child. That leaves you with two options – abortion or adoption. Some women will not consider abortion as an option and move directly to adoption, but let’s assume for the sake of discussion you would consider aborting the child or, as some would say “fetus” to make it feel less like taking a life, particularly the life of a child. Understand that abortion ends a pregnancy but does not change the fact that you were pregnant. Presumably, some women will be able to put the abortion out of their minds and will not associate the abortion with ending an innocent child’s life. If you guess wrongly about your ability to do so, the rest of your life is a long time to carry that guilt.
Another alternative – provide for your child by means of an adoptive placement. The downside includes being pregnant until you give birth, which may last months more, depending on your due date. Feeling a baby kick from the inside, giving birth, and then leaving the hospital without your baby will likely be the hardest thing you do in your life. It takes a firm belief that adoption gives your child the best opportunity to realize their full potential and the courage to make a decision that most of society, including your some of your closest friends, will never understand. However, a hard decision does not make it a bad decision. If you want your child to have a loving, secure, happy home, and a world of opportunities, making an adoption plan may be your best parenting decision. While you will grieve, you will also know that you put your child’s needs ahead of your own, have given you child the gift of life and a good home, and have fulfilled the dream of parenthood for someone who probably would never have a child or another child without you or someone like you.
Other alternatives that some women choose include asking family and friends to assume formal or informal foster care/guardianship of the child. If whatever causes you to question your ability to parent is a short term circumstance and you are not concerned that it will reoccur, foster care would allow you to get from “Point A” to “Point B” in your life.
If you would like to explore adoption and live in Indiana, contact us at Kirsh & Kirsh, P.C.. We have helped many women with adoption plans over the last 35+ years. We have lots of wonderful, carefully screened, loving families who cannot wait to welcome a baby into their hearts and homes.
We will always treat you will kindness and respect. Of the numerous expectant mothers with whom we have worked over years, many, if not most, have needed help paying their living expenses while they were pregnant and during their postpartum recovery.
You can call, text and or email us anytime. To contact us—call: 317-575-5555, text: 317-721-2030, email: AdoptionSupport@kirsh.com, or Facebook message: https://www.facebook.com/KirshandKirsh/. We answer our office phone 24 hours a day, every single day. We try to respond to emails and text messages within minutes of receipt.