Is It Too Early or Too Late to Make an Adoption Plan in Indiana?

By: Grant Kirsh

Timing questions come up constantly when women are thinking about how to give up a baby for adoption. Is it too early to even start talking about this? Have I waited too long? I just gave birth, is it too late? Can I sign the paperwork before the baby comes so I do not change my mind?

At Kirsh & Kirsh, P.C., we have answered these questions for nearly 50 years. We are a family-run Indiana law firm, and the short version is this: it is almost never too early to start the conversation, and it is usually not too late either. Here are the details.

Is It Too Early to Talk About Adoption?

No. You can reach out to us at any point during your pregnancy, even early on. In fact, the earlier you start the conversation, the more time you have to understand your options, choose a family, and make a plan that feels right. Starting early does not commit you to anything. You can change your mind at any time before you sign the consent after birth. There is no downside to getting informed early.

Have I Waited Too Late?

Usually not. We help women who reach out very late in pregnancy, and even women who contact us from the hospital after giving birth. The legal process works the same whether you planned for months or are making the decision in a hurry. We are fully capable of handling adoptions on a short timeline. We have done it many times.

I Just Had My Baby. Can I Still Place for Adoption?

Yes. If you just gave birth and realize you are not able to parent, you can still make an adoption plan. We usually have an adoption or two like this. We call these “surprise baby” or “stork drops”. The sooner you reach out, the better, because the process is clearest right around the time of birth.

We do want to be honest about something important. We are seeing more and more women who bring their baby home, try to parent for weeks or months, and then call us wanting to place the child for adoption. By that point, the situation becomes much more complicated, especially if the father has established paternity. If the father has established paternity and will not consent, it can become nearly impossible to place the child. So if adoption is on your mind, the time to act is now, not months down the road. If you are in the position where you have taken the baby home and you want to consider adoption, please call us. We can help. It is sad when this comes up because we know these moms tried their hardest to make it work. It is usually not totally mom’s fault that this happens. She is usually given false hope by those around her that they can help her. Her parents, siblings, family and friends tell her she can live with them or they will support her, but after weeks or months they all abandon her. For women who are in this situation I would give you one piece of advice when considering these offers of support from friends and family. The best indicator of future behavior is past behavior. If these people have always been there for you and never let you down, then they are probably going to not let you down this time. If they are not reliable and have let you down in the past, then they are probably going to let you down this time as well.

Can I Sign the Consent Before the Baby Is Born?

This is a common question from women who are worried they will change their mind. The answer for a birth mother is no. Under Indiana Code 31-19-9-2(b), a mother cannot sign the consent to adoption until after the baby is born. This is actually a protection for you. It ensures you are making the decision after birth, when you have had time to be with your baby and be sure.

Under Indiana Code 31-19-9-2(c), a father can sign a pre-birth consent to adoption if he is involved. He may also sign a denial of paternity which has the save effect as signing a consent to adoption. But for the birth mother, the consent always comes after birth.

What If I Am Afraid I Will Change My Mind?

This fear is normal and healthy. It shows you are taking the decision seriously. Here is what we can tell you: you do not have to be 100% certain to start the process. Most women indicate they are only at a 3-5 out of 10 when they reach out. Most of them say it takes looking at profiles and speaking to a family to really know if adoption is the right decision. You can explore adoption, choose a family, and prepare, all while knowing you can change your mind up until you sign the consent after birth. That flexibility is built into the system to protect you.

And if, after birth, you are certain and want to give the adoptive family peace of mind, some birth parents choose to confirm their consent before a judge, which can be done by phone under Indiana Code 31-19-10-3(b). But that is your choice, made after birth, never before.

We Will Meet You Wherever You Are

Early in pregnancy, late in pregnancy, or after birth, we are here. Whether you are in Indianapolis, Fort Wayne, Evansville, South Bend, Carmel, Fishers, Bloomington, Hammond, Gary, Muncie, Lafayette, Terre Haute, Kokomo, Anderson, or Greenwood, reach out. Our services are 100% free.

Call or text us at 800-333-5736. Visit us at IndianaAdoption.com. Everything is free and confidential.

About the Author
Grant Kirsh is a second-generation adoption attorney and owner of Kirsh & Kirsh, P.C., a family law firm in Indianapolis, Indiana that has been serving Indiana families since 1981. Grant graduated from Indiana University McKinney School of Law in 2013 and has personally handled nearly 3,000 foster care adoptions and his law firm has handled over 5,000 private newborn adoptions. He practices all forms of domestic adoption, with a deep personal commitment to expectant mothers considering adoption in Indiana and Indiana’s foster care system and the families and children it serves.