What Adoptive Families Really Want Birth Mothers to Know

By: Grant Kirsh

When you are thinking about how to give up your baby for adoption, it is natural to wonder: what do the adoptive families think of me? Will they judge me? Will they see me as someone who gave up on her child?

After nearly 50 years of working with both birth mothers and adoptive families in Indiana, we can tell you clearly: the families we work with think about birth mothers with deep gratitude, respect, and love. Here is what they want you to know.

They Know How Hard This Is

The adoptive families who work with Kirsh & Kirsh, P.C. are not naive about what adoption asks of a birth mother. They understand that you are making one of the hardest decisions a person can make, and they do not take it lightly. Many of them describe their birth mother as one of the most important people in their lives, someone whose courage made their family possible.

They Want to Honor You

At our firm, all adoptive families commit to providing letters and photos for at least 18 years at minimum. Some of them offer much more. Visits. Video calls. Holiday updates. Birthday cards. They do this because they genuinely want to honor the birth mother and make sure she knows that her child is happy, healthy, and loved.

If you want an open adoption, you will not have to fight for it. At Kirsh & Kirsh, P.C., the birth mother chooses the level of openness, not the adoptive family. If you want contact, the families we work with are ready for that relationship.

They Do Not Judge You

This is important. The adoptive families who come to Kirsh & Kirsh, P.C. do not see birth mothers as people who failed. They see women who loved their children enough to make the hardest choice imaginable. That is the truth.

Your circumstances, whether you are dealing with financial hardship, an abusive relationship, homelessness, substance issues, or simply not being in a place where you can parent right now, do not define you in their eyes. What defines you is your love for your child and your courage in doing what you believe is best for them.

They Are Grateful

Many adoptive families tell us that not a day goes by without them thinking about their child’s birth mother. They are grateful beyond words. They know that their family exists because of a decision that came at an enormous personal cost to someone else. They carry that gratitude every single day.

You Are Choosing Good People

At Kirsh & Kirsh, P.C., we have over 100 families waiting to adopt. Adoptive families can come from anywhere in the country. Every one of them has been carefully reviewed. Every one of them understands the commitment they are making. When you choose a family through our firm, you are choosing people who will love your child, honor your decision, and stay connected to your story.

Whether you are in Indianapolis, Fort Wayne, Evansville, South Bend, Carmel, Fishers, Bloomington, Hammond, Gary, Muncie, Lafayette, Terre Haute, Kokomo, Anderson, or Greenwood, we are here.

Call or text us at 800-333-5736. Visit us at IndianaAdoption.com. Everything is free and confidential.

For a complete overview of the adoption process, read our Complete Guide to Giving Up a Baby for Adoption in Indiana.