Supporting a Child With Trauma After Adoption From Indiana Foster Care

By: Grant Kirsh

Many children who come from Indiana’s foster care system have experienced things no child should have to experience, neglect, abuse, multiple placements, loss of family members, and the deep uncertainty of not knowing where they belong.

These experiences leave marks. And when a child comes into your home through foster care adoption, those marks come with them. Understanding what trauma looks like in children, and how to respond to it effectively, is one of the most important things an adoptive family can do.

At Kirsh & Kirsh, P.C., we have helped nearly 3,000 Indiana families complete foster care adoptions. We serve families in Marion County, Lake County, Allen County, Hamilton County, Tippecanoe County, St. Joseph County, Hendricks County, Elkhart County, Johnson County, Delaware County, Vanderburgh County, Porter County, Madison County, Vigo County, Monroe County, and across the state. Here is what we want you to know about supporting a child with trauma.

What Does Childhood Trauma Look Like?

Trauma in children does not always look like sadness or withdrawal. It can look like many things, anger, defiance, hyperactivity, difficulty concentrating, sleep problems, excessive clinginess, emotional outbursts, or an inability to trust adults. It can also look like a child who seems fine on the surface but struggles deeply underneath.

Understanding that these behaviors are often responses to past experiences, not signs of bad character or poor parenting, is the foundation of trauma-informed parenting.

The Importance of Safety and Consistency

Children who have experienced trauma need, above all else, to feel safe. That means consistent routines, predictable responses, and a home environment where they know what to expect. Unpredictability, even positive surprises, can be triggering for children who have learned to brace for the worst.

This does not mean you have to be rigid or joyless. It means that the more consistent and calm your home environment is, the faster a traumatized child will begin to trust it.

Attachment and Bonding

One of the most significant effects of early trauma and multiple placements is disrupted attachment, a difficulty forming deep, trusting bonds with caregivers. Some children who have experienced attachment disruption will resist closeness, sabotage relationships, or behave in ways that seem designed to push you away.

This is not rejection. It is a test, often an unconscious one, to see whether you will stay. The answer to that test is to keep showing up, calmly and consistently, without threatening to abandon the relationship when things get hard.

Getting Professional Support

Trauma-informed therapy can make an enormous difference for children adopted from foster care, and for the families who are parenting them. Look for a therapist who has specific experience with adopted children and childhood trauma. Therapies like EMDR, play therapy, and theraplay have been shown to be effective with children who have histories of trauma and attachment disruption.

Indiana offers post-adoption support services that can help connect you with appropriate therapeutic resources in your county, whether you are in Hamilton, Hendricks, Johnson, Tippecanoe, Elkhart, or St. Joseph County. Ask your DCS case manager or your adoption attorney about what is available.

You Are Not Failing

Parenting a child with trauma is hard. There will be days when you feel like nothing you are doing is working. There will be moments of doubt, exhaustion, and frustration. These are normal feelings. They do not mean you are failing. They mean you are doing something genuinely difficult, and genuinely important.

At Kirsh & Kirsh, P.C., we have deep respect for the families who open their homes to children who have been through the most. We handle the legal side of this journey, and we are always here if you have questions.

Call us at 317-575-5555. Visit us at DCSAdoptions.com.

About the Author
Grant Kirsh is a second-generation adoption attorney and owner of Kirsh & Kirsh, P.C., a family law firm in Indianapolis, Indiana that has been serving Indiana families since 1981. Grant graduated from Indiana University McKinney School of Law in 2013 and has personally handled nearly 3,000 foster care adoptions and his law firm has handled over 5,000 private newborn adoptions. He practices all forms of domestic adoption, with a deep personal commitment to expectant mothers considering adoption in Indiana and Indiana’s foster care system and the families and children it serves.