What Happens After You Give Up Your Baby for Adoption – Life After Placement in Indiana

By: Grant Kirsh

Most of what you find when you search for how to give up a baby for adoption focuses on the process — the steps, the paperwork, the legal details. But many expectant mothers want to know something else: what happens after? What does life look like once the baby is placed?

It is a question that deserves an honest answer. At Kirsh & Kirsh, P.C., we have been walking alongside Indiana birth mothers not just through the adoption process but through what comes after,for over 40 years. Here is what we can tell you.

The Emotions Are Real and Normal

Life after placement looks different for every birth mother. But most women describe a mix of emotions in the days and weeks after placing their baby, grief, relief, love, doubt, peace, longing. Sometimes all at once.

This is not a sign that you made the wrong decision. It is a sign that you are human and that this experience was real and significant. Grief and love are not opposites. You can feel both at the same time, and neither one cancels the other out.

What we can tell you from decades of experience is that birth mothers who feel the most peace over time are the ones who felt truly informed, supported, and empowered throughout the process, and who had ongoing support after placement too.

Staying Connected Through Open Adoption

For most birth mothers in Indiana, the story does not end at placement. Most adoptions today are open or semi-open, meaning there is ongoing contact between you and the adoptive family.

At Kirsh & Kirsh, P.C., every adoptive family we work with commits to providing letters and photos for at least 18 years, so you will see your child growing up. Many families offer much more than that, visits, video calls, holiday contact. The level of openness is shaped by what you and the family agree to.

Closed adoption, where there is no contact, is still an option, but it is the birth mother’s choice, not the adoptive family’s. We encourage open adoption because, in our experience, it is better for everyone, including the child.

What About Counseling?

You are entitled to counseling as part of the adoption process, and the cost should be covered 100% by the adoptive family. This support does not have to end at placement. Ongoing counseling after placement is one of the most important things you can do for yourself.

If you are in Indianapolis, Fort Wayne, Evansville, South Bend, Carmel, Fishers, Bloomington, Hammond, Gary, Muncie, Lafayette, Terre Haute, Kokomo, Anderson, or Greenwood — there are counseling resources available to you, and we can help you access them.

Will You Have to Go to Court?

In Indiana, birth mothers almost certainly will never have to step foot in a courtroom. The finalization hearing happens several months after placement, and you are not required to attend. You have already done your part, and it was the most important part.

You Are Still Part of Your Child’s Story

Placing your baby for adoption does not erase you from their life. In an open adoption, you remain a presence, through letters, photos, and perhaps visits. And even in the rarest of closed adoptions, you are still part of who your child is.

Birth mothers who have walked this road often describe a sense of purpose that comes with time, a knowledge that their love for their child led to a decision that gave that child a life full of possibility.

Call or text us at 800-333-5736. Visit us at IndianaAdoption.com. We are here before, during, and after.

About the Author
Grant Kirsh is a second-generation adoption attorney and owner of Kirsh & Kirsh, P.C., a family law firm in Indianapolis, Indiana that has been serving Indiana families since 1981. Grant graduated from Indiana University McKinney School of Law in 2013 and has personally handled nearly 3,000 foster care adoptions and his law firm has handled over 5,000 private newborn adoptions. He practices all forms of domestic adoption, with a deep personal commitment to expectant mothers considering adoption in Indiana and Indiana’s foster care system and the families and children it serves.